We've been a family of four for ten days now, and are still kind of getting used to things, but there have been no surprises. A few unpleasantries, but nothing unexpected.
After we got home from the hospital, e-baby was so excited to have her new babydoll toy here in the house.
He's tiny! He cries! He coos! He looks at you! He wees for real! He's PERFECT!
She is the greatest hazard to his personal safety in the whole house. Her intentions are so good, but her execution is something short of gentle. So whenever they're in the same room, one parent has to be watching closely (and physically interfering a lot). As a result, she LOVES baby Jambuca, and is pretty angry with us. She's peed on herself (How does one pee defiantly? Just watch e-baby) three times, she refuses to bathe, she refuses to eat but wants to throw her plate (and mine!) to the floor. It's not always like that, but evenings are pretty rough around here.
Still, none of it is unexpected. I expected her also to be angry with baby brother, and maybe that's coming next, or maybe not. Hopefully it will only be a few weeks before she comes down from her battle horse and decides to eat some dinner.
Our strategy has been Dr Spock all the way-- give her as much attention as is possible (while still meeting everyone's needs, of course), if someone comes over, focus a lot of attention on her, let her "help" with baby brother if she wants to, like baths and diaper changes. That all seems to work, but there's really no way to let her carry him around like she wants to, so she's perturbed a lot of the time. Dolls are simply not an acceptable substitute.
Jambuca's been to the doctor twice this week. Monday he has regained to his birth weight plus a little, and between Monday and Friday he gained 8 ounces. He now weighs 7lb, 9.5 ounces. Not exactly a chubster, but he has chubby baby cheeks at last and doesn't look skinny anymore. That last month in utero is really all about putting on layers of fat, which is what he missed out on in coming early. But the kid can EAT. He's making the most of life on land.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Sounds like you guys are doing great. How has having the grandparents around effected the situation?
ReplyDeleteThey left a week ago, so it hasn't, really. My mom comes this Wednesday, so we'll see if that smoothes some of these emotional bumps for e-baby.
ReplyDeleteMy understanding is that for the older siblings, there's usually a "honeymoon phase" when the new baby first comes home. Then they realize that this new tiny baby is around for good, and things change. She might get angry, or she might just decide that she's over baby Jambuca and start ignoring him. Who knows. Sounds like you're handling her behavior just fine so far, so I'm sure you'll manage later too.
ReplyDeleteHopefully having your mom around will help. Maybe she can figure out a way to bribe her to eat dinner. (Spoken by the woman whose toddler ate diced peaches and crushed ice for dinner last night - and THAT'S IT, because I couldn't coerce her to eat anything else. Sigh. Two year-olds are rough, man.)
All I know is that kids do eventually eat when they are hungry and that having Tuti around will help E-baby with the transition. Sorry its been so rough (I love the phrase "peeing defiantly though!)
ReplyDeleteTuti is bringing a book along from me for Libitrini which is supposed to be one of the best for dealing with the old baby/new baby alignment. Let me know if it is helpful.
ReplyDeleteAlmost 3-year-old Twinkie 2 was fine with her baby brother. The day after we brought him home from the hospital, SHE came down with full-blown chicken pox and I had to spend a lot of time with her that she might not have had if she had not been ill. When she was recovered, she acted as though her baby brother had been around since the dinosaurs and was nothing to get upset about. They didn't start fighting until elementary school. Oh, well. You do have somethings to look forward to!
Love,